IC Conact

[hunksmash]

[ phone | voicemail | texting | regular ol' mail ]

"Hey, this is Hunk. Guess I'm busy. Or I left my phone on silent. I do that a lot. Sorry. Anyway, yeah! Leave me a message, and I'll call you back. I promise, okay? Okay. Bye!"

Comments

text

[h2no]

HEY, KID.
I'M GOING OFF TO LONDON FOR A BIT.
CLEANED UP BEFORE I LEFT; CAN YOU FEED MY RABBITS THOUGH?
ALL THEIR STUFF IS IN THE SHED.
CHEERS.

[also they have rabbits now]

text

[hunksmash]

okay...
are they actual, regular rabbits? or are they weird monster rabbits?

Re: text

[h2no]

THEY'RE NORMAL, PROMISE.
THE LITTLE ONE IS CALLED RABERT AND THE BIG ONE IS BUNTIMUS, EMPEROR OF ALL.
HE GETS NIPPY IF YOU DON'T USE HIS FULL TITLE.

text

[hunksmash]

you had me at rabert, you lost me at buntimus, emperor of all.
but okay.
I'll properly address the rabbit.

Re: text

[h2no]

TINA NAMED HIM.
THANKS MATE.
WANT ANYTHING FROM LONDON?

text

[hunksmash]

Tea and Cadbury chocolate? And Marmite?

Re: text

[h2no]

YOU GOT IT, KID.
I'LL GET A SELECTION.
SEE YOU WHENEVER, YEAH?
STAY SAFE.

text

[hunksmash]

right. you too.
don't explode or get kinapped by squids or whatever's going to happen next.

Re: text

[h2no]

IF I GET KIDNAPPED BY SQUIDS I'LL TAKE A BUNCH OF SELFIES.

text

[hunksmash]

I don't think your camera will work where they'd take you.

Re: text

[h2no]

THE ONLY WAY WE COULD KNOW IS IF I WAS KIDNAPPED AND TRIED TO TAKE A SELFIE, HUNK.
ALRIGHT, I'M OUT.
TAKE CARE, I'LL GET YOUR STUFF.
DON'T BURN THE HOUSE DOWN, IF YOU NEED MONEY THERE'S $100 ON THE DESK IN MY ROOM.

text

[hunksmash]

kk. thanks. I definitely won't destroy anything.
please seriously don't get kidnapped by squids or anything else or blown up or whatever.

text (AND THEN MUCH LATER...)

[hunksmash]

hey there's some dude screaming about how you stole his ball animals. should this be worrying?

HA HA (voice)

[h2no]

I doubt he'll do anything. Look, back in our world when you take on the responsibility of having... ball animals, you're expected to take care of them properly. I can tell ya with absolute certainty that he isn't and he's been abusin' them instead.

[he knows he shouldn't have taken them, but he is not good at resisting impulses. see: entire plot of alpha sapphire. the regret is clear in his voice, but archie is sticking to his guns.]

There's--- there's someone here who should have the authority to remove them from the trainer in question, but he's done nothin' about it. So. I ain't leavin' them in his care to suffer more.

(voice)

[hunksmash]

What? There's a Pokemon Protective Services dude running around now?

Do you think you can appeal to the authorities here about it? I mean, they probably do count as animals, right?

Re: (voice)

[h2no]

There's two League champions here. I wouldn't put this on May because she's eleven, but the other one should've done something. They're not protective services, but they have some authority over this stuff.

[not that archie expected either of them to do shit, it's just the "clean" answer.]

I dunno. They're otherwordly so... I dunno.

(voice)

[hunksmash]

Cool. I mean, it's not cool, but-- You know. I just figured I'd ask about it.

Anyway, I guess I'll just keep him talking? Or lie about your whereabouts? Or something like that?

Re: (voice)

[h2no]

Tell him what you want, kid. There's no point getting involved.

[he shrugs, then remembers hunk can't see him.]

Thanks for the concern. I'll be fine, it's just... world politics, y'know?

(voice)

[hunksmash]

I guess so. Every world's got some kind of issue, probably, and the 'porter is just gonna tug whoever in.

You sure there's nothing in particular you want me to do about it?

Re: (voice)

[h2no]

Certain. Just... watch him, I guess. He's a real angry kid and holds grudges easily. If he gets these Pokémon back, he'll be an angry kid with a grudge and a seven ft alligator that can fire out water hard enough to tear through metal.

(voice)

[hunksmash]

... What is wrong with your world?!

Re: (voice)

[h2no]

[archie just laughs.]

Feraligatrs are evolved from Totodiles. Kids get 'em when they start out... you should talk to May sometime. Check out her starter. It could probably take out a skyscraper, that's all I'm sayin'.

(voice)

[hunksmash]

How are you people alive? I'm so confused.

What's hers? A ground sloth that spits up acid and controls the weather?!

Re: (voice)

[h2no]

Most of them are friendly.

...

A giant chicken that shoots fire. Seriously.

(voice)

[hunksmash]

[ There's a noise that's something between a sigh and a panicked squeak. ]

I'd rather not check out somebody's giant chicken that shoots fire and could take out a skyscraper.

You said they let kids have these things?!